Blogging, Change, Head Lice, External Hard Drives, Tenties.

Blogging is an interesting thing. Is is completely self-indulgent? Is what I write of interest to anybody else? Has Facebook rendered blogging a past-time purely for people who can't write a short snappy third-person status?

I started this blog in October 2006 at a time when I was completely consumed in a world of being a mother. Yes, I was studying by correspondence to be a teacher, but my day to day very much revolved around the kids.

Things have changed now though. Some of the changes have been good and some bad. The worst change was the death of my beloved father. I stopped writing my blog around the time that Mr Dad died. It was too raw, too sad, and I felt like no words would adequately honour him in the way he deserved to be honoured. I still am not ready to write about him, or the immense sadness of a world without him in it, but I find slight comfort in knowing I will one day see him in heaven.

Other changes have been for the good. I am not just a mother anymore, but I am working as an English and Drama secondary teacher in a permanent part time position. Mr 4 is now Mr 6 and in 1st grade at school while Miss 6 is now Miss 8 and in 3rd grade. As any working mother will tell you, there are definitely challenges in juggling motherhood and work, especially when you are single. Yes, I'm still officially single. It in indeed a travesty, a tragedy, and I'm prepared to take suggestions of any other word starting with "t" that will express the situation adequately!

I say 'officially' single cause there is a glimmer of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel, a faint flicker of a candle in a dark stormy night, a smoldering ember in an almost out fire that is currently giving me reason to feel a bit excited, to have a tummy that flip-flops around on the inside when I think about him or get an sms or email, and a brain that wants to dream pictures of "us". Who knows what will happen...... borrowing from Abba I will say that I am taking a chance!

Teaching has been a very fulfilling career to choose, although may I warn you all now?..... Don't think it will be easy. I did not realise how much work you would have to do out of school time and on weekends and holidays. Teaching is not the sort of job that you walk out of at the end of the day and don't think about till the next morning. There is nothing that feels worse than standing in front of a classroom of students and having a complete lesson fail. Unless of course you were having the fail, and then realised that you were also naked. (I have had various terrifying dreams of massive lesson fails!)

Handy Hint Number 53: When you are caught up doing lesson preparation or working on some special project, don't feel bad when you kids say "You only care about your work" unless you actually do only care about your work. It's amazing how fast kids learn how to guiltify their parents.

Mr 6 has once again been struck by head lice. For the love.......!!!! When I get to heaven, I am going to ask God a few things, and one of them is this: "Why would you invent head lice?" They seem to have no purpose in life other than to make a poor, exhausted wreck of a mother, more poor (have you seen the price of lice treatments????) and exhausted! It's amazing how the very mention of head lice gets you scratching your head. In fact, I bet you are scratching now. This morning I de-loused all three of us. You may well think that you will have a sleep in, remain in your jimmy-jams having a cruisey morning while coating yourself and your kids' heads in lice treatment, but please know that without a doubt you will have a visitor or two or three who will look askance at your red silky nightie, and headlice treatmented heads.

Handy Hint Number 54: You should always have a handy gown/wrap close at hand to throw over your nightie when visitors arrive unexpectedly!

Last week I called up to return two external hard drives for the school I work at. Previously I have had an extremely traumatic external hard disk drive fail where all the photos of the kids from their birth till now were lost. Every single person I have spoken to has told me a similar story of external hard disk drive failure. I am incredulous that external hard drives are sold as an actual storage product. In fact, when speaking at length with the charming Indian man in the external hard disk drive faults call centre, I asked him if he thought it was insane that people actually relied on external hard disk drives and he said "Yes. It is insane." (You have to do the Indian accent in your head) I am wondering what other products remain on the market when they fail constantly! Can you think of any?

Another thing that puzzles me is our current decade. What is it called? Nobody seems to know. It can't be the Teenies, cause of 2011 and 2012. I propose the "Tenties". You heard it here first. I want it to catch on, so pass it around.

Well, I'm signing off for now. I'm not quite sure if I'm fully back into the blogging sphere, and I don't know where my blog is going either. I feel ready for change, and I'm prepared to take more risks now, so who knows what will happen. See you next time! xox

40 and still naughty!

I'm back.... I think.....

Secret Boys' Business (and one of the Dilemmas of Being a Single Mum....)

This morning Miss 5 and Mr 4 were having a bit of a disagreement which followed me into the toilet..... (there is no privacy when you're a mother!!!!!!!!) I told them to work it out and was somewhat aghast when my sweet innocent little Miss 5 said "If you don't stop it, I'm going to kick you in the nuts!" Great! Suffice it to say, this is not a phrase she has learnt from me.

I then had to educate her on what 'nuts' are, point them out on Mr 4 (well, he was in the toilet with his pants down waiting to go), and tell her what she had said was rude and uncouth and why she should never ever do it. I told her she could really hurt Mr 4 and he might even have to go to hospital (Is that true? ..... I thought it made it sound more scary), and told her if she kicked him there, when Mr 4 grows up and gets married, he and his wife might not be able to have children. After this surplus of information, Miss 4 looks up at me and asks very seriously:"But, who is his wife?" Aaarrggghh!

I have found certain things are a little difficult for a female to teach a young boy. Standing up to go the toilet is the obvious one! Poor Mr 4 appears quite traumatised by my belated efforts to get him to stand up and shake-shake-shake instead of sit down and wipe-wipe-wipe. Personally I would quite like it if men did wipe, but I won't go into that now.....)

I enlisted my next door neighbour's help so Mr T talked to Mr 4 about one of the joys of camping for men, which apparently is the ability to just stand up anywhere and 'go'..... (Incidentally, this is one of the least appealing aspects of camping for women!) When he told Mr 4 he could aim at a tree and then go shake-shake-shake, Mr 4 started crying and said "noooooooooo ...... the grass will get wet." He was completely immovable on the subject despite reassurances from myself and Mr T that the grass would be fine. Miss 5, ever the peacemaker said "It's ok, Mr T, he can just sit down with Mummy and go wipe-wipe-wipe." And so I'm back at square one.......

Any tips would be gratefully received......

What joy! What bliss!

The eagle has landed! We have lift-off! etc etc. I can finally say Mr 4 is completely toilet-trained and sleeping through the night without incident!!

Yay..... No more nappies!

Mr 3 becomes Mr 4.......

Well Mr 3 has just become Mr 4. He is still in love with Thomas the Tank Engine. Will this love affair never end??????? He requested a Thomas cake and, due to my general fabulousness, I embraced the challenge (amid much questioning of my own sanity and dramatic throwing of my hands up into the air) and came up with something that sorta kinda resembles Thomas. Of course, his birthday party arrived on the hottest day of the year so far (34 degrees). So helpful....
(For those of you interested, I Googled 'Thomas the Tank Engine cake' and came up with a site called 'Thomas the Tank Engine Birthday Cake Tutorial'. Mine looks nowhere near as good as hers..... but I didn't start days in advance or have any of the proper tools!!)

Mr 4 is growing up. He is now correcting so many of his mis-pronunciations of words. I am happy, though, that some still remain......... 'omelette' is what he calls his 'wallet', 'helicopperdial' for 'helicopter' (it's a mixture of helicopter and crocodile, in case you were wondering...), 'jumpoline' for 'trampoline' (incidentally, why aren't trampolines called jumpolines? It is a much more appropriate name!!)

Speaking of the 'jumpoline', the kids and I have been extremely blessed in our next door neighbours. When we moved in we discovered a Dad and two boys next door. They have become great friends to us; Mr T (the Dad) organised for the second hand jumpoline to be delivered to our house, and the boys (Mr J and Mr L) play with the kids beautifully. I would like to thank Mr J and Mr L for often making Thomas train tracks and thus saving my sanity (because pretty much every day Mr 4 asks me to make a train track with him!!!).... They also play 'crack the egg' on the trampoline and various other games and generally make my life and my kids' lives better.

Handy Hint Number 52: When you are a single mother, make sure you move into a house with fabulous next-door neighbours who will love your kids and play with them!

Mr 4 loves the trampoline. It is used every day. I have to watch and specify the style of jump: bottom drop, knees, and a special something called the 'beautiful bottom drop'. Mr 4 came up with that one, and as far as I can tell it is a bottom drop with pizazz and some crazy hand actions.....

Here is a photo of Mr 4 in action. BTW, apologies for the shirt. I did not buy it (it was a gift) and Mr 4 was only wearing it because we were not going out anywhere! How was I supposed to know I'd snap an extremely cute and joyous photo of him jumping on the trampoline?!

When life gets in the way....

Well, well, well......... and you thought I'd never be back. Some things have happened in the last year and a bit that I still don't think I'm ready to write about.... but I am gearing up to be back with a vengeance... (just figuring out what to say...)

The things I am able to write about:

• The kids and I are really well.... Miss 4 is now Miss 5, and Mr 2 is now Mr 3 (almost Mr 4).
• I am now a fully qualified teacher!!!!! YAY!!! Getting paid is good... And it's very liberating not having to do assignments!!!
• I am still single. I know..... it's a travesty! What is wrong with men these days......
• I am loving Facebook. So amazing catching up with friends from many years ago.
• It's my 20 year school reunion in a couple of months. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! And I really don't feel that old yet!!!

OK...... this is just a little morsel of info - I will be back soon with more.

Thomas The Tank Engine................

Mr 2 is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine. I don't know if this is a good thing. He is currently watching his DVD of the Thomas TV series. Each episode if about 10 mins long - and the DVD goes for 133 minutes. Before and after each episode there is the Thomas The Tank Engine theme music. To say it gets a little tedious and annoying is an understatement........

Here are a few of my indicators that Mr 2 is crazy about Thomas:

• I just picked him up to change his poe-poe nappy (ahhh.... the joys of motherhood...) and Mr 2 screamed "Thomas........... Thomas............. Thomas" as I took him to his room (away from the TV). If anyone heard him screaming they would have thought he was being tortured!
• The other night he woke up calling out for Thomas. (It almost scared me half to death!)
  
• Pretty much every conversation he has with everybody has the mention of Thomas. And a 2 year old's conversation is like this: "blay di clo ma Thomas dee tam shoq ta mil Thomas".
• Every time we go to Kmart, he runs straight to the book section and picks up a little Thomas book and starts looking through it. He also has just figured out where the Thomas section of toys are at Kmart and can find his way there as though he is a homing pigeon.
• His favourite T-shirt has Thomas on it and he cries when I say he can't wear it.

The last time Mr D (the kids' Dad) was visiting, he bought Mr 2 some more Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. Now we have track, bridges, tunnel, station, plus a road for the bus (who's called Bulgy, in case you are interested). Mr D spent hours (I kid you not) trying to utilise all the track and stuff that we had to create loops and switches and ups and downs, etc. The end creation was fairly magnificent and Mr 2 and Miss 4 were almost beside themselves with joy and amazement.

The only problem is that while Mr 2 loves seeing the train go around the track by itself, he also likes to push it around himself, and occasionally crash things. Within a couple of hours of the kids seeing this amazing creation of engineering genius, it was demolished.

And who is the sucker that answers the plaintive cry: "Mummy, pre...e..a..se.... fix Thomas"? (And it takes ages to build...)

Handy Hint Number 50: Take a picture of the finished product that successfully incorporates all parts of your Thomas the Tank Engine stuff so that it is easier to put it together again....... or you can draw an outline of the track for future reference as a map.

Handy Hint Number 51: Don't accidentally throw out your map.

Miss 4 likes playing with Thomas the Tank Engine, but is not a huge fan of the show. Like mother, like daughter....... (it's the insanity-inducing theme music that's the problem!!)

Quick assignment update:
1 done
1 still due (overdue actually - don't tell my mother...)
1 exam next week......... arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Our Creative Endeavours

My kids love creating art. They glue stuff, draw stuff, and, when I can be bothered, they paint stuff. The kids wanted to paint the other day, and I still have my assignment to do (Am I ever going to finish it??????) so I thought I'd set them up for painting. Painting for a 2 and 4 year old is not just a 'leave ' em and walk away' kind of activity, unfortunately. It requires active and very hands-on interaction from the mother so that the paint on the hands is not transferred to the chair and the wall and the floor and....well, I guess you get the picture.

We have a routine going now. The kids say "Finished, Mum" and I carefully whisk their 'artwork away to dry and plonk a new piece of paper in front of them. After many, many new pieces of paper, I decided to join in and painted a little mini canvas thing. It was so much fun!!! (And painting is another very valid procrastination technique.....) I felt really creative and artistic and I think my art is cool.

Handy Hint Number 49: It's not true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. As a Mum, it's fun to explore your own creativity (and if you're already covered in paint, you may as well do something with it.......)

Miss 4 also created a mini canvas. Hers is called 'A Windy Day' - yep, she named it, and I think her art is very cool too......

I've included photos of our art from the day. Let me know what you think.......

My Favourite Shoes...... and a Boy Visits.....

I recently had to give up on my favourite shoes - according to the shoe repair guy (with whom I feel I have become inordinately close to) there is nothing more that can be done for them. They have had a good life (about 11 years) although they did skip some years of wear - I was fickle and unfaithful to them...... They were actually a hand-me-down from my sister so they did have quite a long and exciting life. Every time I wore them I got compliments, often from guys, which is fairly amazing.

Speaking of boys...... I recently had the pleasure of a visit from a good friend of mine who I had not seen in years........ seriously, probably seven years. Sadly the last time I had seen him was pre-kids and 15kgs lighter. He gave me 3 hours warning of his impending visit. I don't know if you can envisage the frenzy that errupted in my house in that 3 hours. Apart from begging God to help me lose 15 kilos in 3 hours ("Please God, I will do anything you want....."), the kids and I dusted, cleaned, put away shopping and cooked up a massive batch of vegies and lambshanks for Mr 2 (I think I've mentioned previously how much I dislike chopping pumpkin - I was chopping it at warp speed). I also, with assistance from two friends, demolished the bunk bed in the kid's room and moved it down stairs to storage. This was perhaps not the best timing to do that job, and may have put a little extra pressure than was necessary on the whole proceedings, but hey...... I'm sure my boy visitor was thrilled to see the bunk bed out of the kid's room in the fleeting glance he gave to the room. Miss 4 was incredibly helpful as she cleaned the toys and the lounge area up, and started the washing up, and I even managed to make myself look reasonably respectable.

Handy Hint Number 48: When a boy that you used to have a massive crush on and that you haven't seen in many years says he is coming to visit, it is probably good for your sanity to arrange a date with him 3 months down the track instead of 3 hours, so you can lose 15 kgs and look stunning......

Anyway, we had a great catch up and he cooked me dinner - which was unreal. Unfortunately I had a headache, brought on, I'm sure, from no lunch or caffeine and excessive dashing around like a mad woman combined with stress over Mr Dad (who has been a bit unwell), so I wasn't the hostess with the mostest that I normally would be.......

And in case you were wondering: he still looks great. Typical.....

The Art of Procrastination

Well, I have an assignment due so the house is spotless and the washing is up-to-date. My procrastination, though, is at such an advanced level that I have accomplished many very important things in the last couple of days: I did last year's tax yesterday, I've just consolidated my super funds, I have cleaned the leather couches with very special (read: expensive) cleaner and then polished them with very special (even more expensive) leather polish stuff, I've sorted all the kids' art into display folders in date order, cleaned the fridge, and almost overdosed on chocolate (it's a procrastination technique of a quite unhealthy sort....) I am one step away from completely re-organising all my digital photos in the computer - although I am tossing up whether doing my assignment is preferable to that!!

On Sunday the kids and I drove to Morpeth and met up with Mrs Mum and Mr Dad. Morpeth has lots of quirky, arty clothing stores and interesting trinkets. I am in a dangley earring phase and Mrs Mum bought me some very nice ones for a belated Mother's Day present. I think they're gorgeous - now I just have to work out somewhere to wear them!

Miss 4 and I have actually become quite the little earring makers. I purchased heaps of assorted beads and sorted them into little containers (a tedious task which took ages and I'm sure if it wasn't already done I would be doing it today as another procrastination exercise!!!!) and Miss 4 regularly designs earrings for me. Some of her designs are really cool, and others I gently suggest removing or adding different beads.

Handy Hint Number 47: Encourage your kids to be creative and use their imagination and don't impose your own ideas on their art attempts. The other day Miss 4 created an amazing art work using multiple textures of paper, textas, stamps and glue. I love it because there was absolutely no input from me. Tell your kids they are creating art - and put it in a display folder. It may not be all that rivetting for the visitor who gets to look through the 'art' book, but it's lovely for your kids.

While at Morpeth Mrs Mum walked along with Miss 4 looking at roses and camellias and other flowers. Mrs Mum always has a hard time believing I'm her daughter because I just seem to have missed the gardening gene that seems embedded in the family, and I don't know flower names all that well. (I do want to have a vegie patch one day, though - that's the extent of my gardening desire...)

I am conscious that I am lacking in the botanical knowledge department, (and have been shamed by Mrs Mum and my brother and sisters) so I do attempt to point out things to the kids. As we drove along recently I pointed out the beautiful trees with purple flowers to the kids: "They're called magnolias. Can you say 'Magnolia'?" The kids were in the back trying to say 'magnolia' when my friend in the car said: "Aren't they jacarandas?" Whoops.

By the way, thanks to all the people who called or emailed to say they were happy to see my blog back. It's nice to be back!

OK...... here I am ........ again........

After several months off, I am back. I have actually spent a couple of months thinking about what to write to explain my long absence, and I've decided to go for a very brief explanation: Met somebody, fell in love, spent every possible moment talking on phone (hence, no blog...), had heart broken, cried a lot, ate way too many Tim Tams......

So, them's the breaks. I'm a bit over love at the moment.

Now the time has come to focus on uni, which is of course why I am back writing my blog... (Hey, I inititally started this blog while procrastinating and avoiding uni assignments......... I notice a pattern forming). I also have to get back on my bike (literally, an exercise bike) and work off my Tim Tams......

Handy Hint Number 45: Be warned - Kids can be brutally honest regarding weight loss. While looking at myself naked in the mirror I patted my smaller tummy and Miss 4 said earnestly "You better start working on your bottom."

Shortakes:
I have still not finished my movie and am therefore still no closer to meeting Matthew McConaughey. However, I am actually thinking of casting another lead man in the role - Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Denny off Grey's Anatomy..........how could they kill him off??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) He's a bit of a spunk.

Just on Grey's Anatomy. Does no-one in the hospital wear their hair up?? They flounce through halls, pash in elevators, and look after patients, all with their long hair flying around like some Pantene commercial. I am hard-pressed to have my hair out for 1 hour, let alone a 20 hour medical shift!!! (And imagine the shedding of hairs all over the patients!!!)

Mr 2 has moved out of his cot and into a big bed. My little baby is no longer a baby......... He is, however, a massive fan of dancing. He was teary in the highchair (or 'upchair' as we call it, thanks to Miss 4) and when I asked what was wrong, he answered: "I want to dance." I plucked him from the highchair, and he danced around like a mad thing!! He often brings a CD to me and says earnestly 'Mum, prease..... I want to dance' (prease = please, for those non-parents amongst you).

Miss 4 is growing up so fast. It seems so much faster than I grew up! I told Miss 4 the other day that I loved her and her response was this: "I know you do. You don't have to keep telling me." (Picture it said with the tone of a 13 year old responding to being nagged.)

Handy Hint Number 46: Kids grow up so quickly. It is actually a good idea to have a blog or journal just to remember their cute little moments.

Here I Am!!!!!!

Well, I can't believe it has been so long since I last wrote! I am a shocker. There I was - in a brilliant routine before Christmas, which has obviously completely disappeared out the window, along with my Christmas tree. (It plunged to its death off the balcony, courtesy of my Dad, Mr Dad, who is extremely handy to have around.)

OK, so I have had heaps of things happen since the 21st December which would have been amusing and interesting morsels to add to my blog and I can't for the life of me remember any of them.

Handy Hint Number 44: When doing a blog, don't get behind in it! All the people who logged on regularly to read it will stop checking to see if you have updated it yet and you will have no readers!!!!!

What I can say is that we had a great Christmas. I was down in Sydney with family and the kids had a ball and we all ate too much and wanted to sleep. The big excitement for me was that I received a guitar. I have always wanted to play the guitar. I don't think I even realised how much I wanted to, until I opened it, and burst into tears. Awwww shucks. My brother in law, Mr MR, has given me a lesson in tuning and some chords and strumming techniques, and apparently he told his wife, who is my sister, and who in turn told me, that I am a fast learner!!! Hooray for me!!

My New Year's Eve could be claimed by some to be the lamest New Year's Eve on record. However, I don't think there is anything lame about dancing around with pretty much all my family and respective spouses, plus nephews and nieces, to the Footloose soundtrack. (Hey, Footloose rocks!!!!!!!!!! Not the movie, the music......)

OK, perhaps it is a little lame. And who knew Mr 2 was such a groovy little dancer? (Well, I might have.......) He was up very late dancing around crazily. The extremely cute thing about his dancing is the little kicks, twirls, wiggles, and head-shakes.

Shortakes:
I have not finished my movie yet and am therefore no closer to meeting Matthew McConaughey.

Miss 3 is now Miss 4. She's at preschool two days a week and incredibly excited about going to big school next year. (What!!!!!?????? She's still my little baaaabbbbyyyyyyyy ..................wail ...............)

We had family staying with us up until the 11th January. On New Year's Eve we had 8 adults and 4 children under 4 squeezed into a two bedroom unit!!! It was fun!

Miss 4 is starting music lessons in 30 minutes, so I must dash around and straighten up the house in preparation. She is having a half hour lesson on piano and violin (around 15 mins per instrument, for those of you who are mathematically challenged.....)

I do have some funny anecdotes to share, and will maybe be back tonight....... Hope you're all well and excited about 2007!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm turning 37 this year! (And I still feel like I'm 24.)

My Computer is as slow as a Turtle..... and that's not a good thing!

Welcome to my new readers and apologies for there being no new blogs for a few days. Even as I am typing I am frustrated by nasty glitchy computer issues. Each word I type takes a few seconds to appear.... arrrggghhhhh! It is actually quite difficult to get a train of thought happening.

I have also been astounded by Telstra and the fact that over the last few weeks I am often without a phone for hours at a time (Once for a day and a half!!!). Considering I am the last loser in existence still with a dial-up connection, no phone line renders me internet free....... Apparently there is some fault in optic fibres or something like that.......

Anyway, I was going to talk about Christmas (surprise, surprise) and holidays and funny little things that have happened, but I don't think I can bear the slowness of my computer at this time. There is definitely something wrong.

Handy Hint Number 43: It is very useful to have a friendship with a computer expert! Help, Mr D!!!!!

Friends are friends forever...... and being Tired and Emotional!

Last night I called a friend (well two friends really, cause they're a married couple) to say hi. I hadn't spoken to this friend in at least six years!! I have, however, thought about these friends heaps in the last six years, but always not called. They have kids and I'd have many reasons not to call. I'd think: 'it's too early', 'they'll be rushing around getting ready for school', 'they'll be rushing around getting ready for dinner', 'it's too late', or the always popular 'we'll want to talk for ages and I only have a few minutes spare'. I had also started thinking I'd left it too long to call, that they might have forgotten me. When I called last night I called splat in the middle of when they would be preparing dinner. I seized the day, so to speak, and guess what, they seemed happy to hear from me, we talked for ages (as I had guessed....), and I don't think I stuffed up their night too much at all...

Handy Hint Number 41: It's never too late to call a friend. (I keep thinking of that Michael W Smith song 'A Friend's a friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them' - hey, surely you have all realised by now that if it is cheesy secular or Christian music from the 80s, then I will know it and love it!!)

Anyway, I'm really happy I called, and hopefully they are too. (It would be pretty dodgey if they were sitting around saying 'why did she bother calling???')

You may recall Miss 3's mattress was adorned with a pungent yellow liquid the other night and her mattress has been airing (waiting for sun) in the lounge room. Her bed is currently a timber frame with timber slats, so she has been with me in my bed. Last night she kept getting out of bed, and after a few times of carrying her back into bed, I told her if she got out again she'd get a hard smack. Well out she trotted, and I said 'I hope I don't see you, because if I do you are going to get a smack. Hopefully I'm just imagining things, cause I really don't want to give you a smack.' Well, off she went.... (clever, just like her mum....)

I settled down and had dinner, cleaned kitchen, pottered around, and was watching TV when she stirred in her sleep. When I went to check her I found her not in my bed, but in her room. She had laid the hand towel from the bathroom over the timber slats, and grabbed her pillow from my room and there she lay, sleeping (HOW!!!!????) One arm was hanging through the slats, and she was soundly asleep. For the love............ !

Handy Hint Number 42: Never assume anything with kids. I told Miss 3 to go to bed, and she goes and lies on timber slats!!!!!!! (Another thing not to tell DOCS...)

Tonight I mentioned that her mattress was ready (hooray for sun!!!) and she could sleep in her bed tonight and her reply: "That's good. It wasn't very comfy last night."

Mr 2 has just arisen from his afternoon slumber. Some days he is happy as larry, and others he is a little 'Tired and Emotional' (it's a wonderful label which can explain a multitude of behaviours, including the mothers!!) I made him some fleecy wraps when he was born edged with satin ribbon, and since birth he has been comforted by the satin ribbon. He holds the ribbon between his fingers and slides them back and forth. When he was crying as a baby you would just throw a wrap in on top of him and he would grab the satin ribbon and sleep!! He still needs his wraps (he has two and needs them both!) and when he is very 'Tired and Emotional' he also needs his 'ploe' (pillow). When he is very very 'Tired and Emotional' he needs his two wraps, his pillow and his Mummy. So off I go....

Naughty Santa

Miss 3 had her preschool Christmas party today. Santa was the special guest and gave her a book ....... and I must say Santa has exceptional taste :) When I asked Miss 3 for her news of the day, and asked her about Santa, she replied with this: 'Santa got in trouble cause he was naughty. He forgot to bring a present for Olivia and Kya. I feel angry and sad at Santa.' Poor Santa. You can never please everyone! (although it's kinda nice Miss 3 cared about her little friends)

I mentioned my blog address to my minister today and he said he would be very interested to check it out to learn more about me. O....Ohhhh. I better be on my best behaviour. I probably shouldn't talk about how spunky Matthew McConaughey is and I really should try and sound mature and well-adjusted........

Too hard. Sorry Pastor M.....

A forlorn little Miss 3 woke me at 2.30am last night. It appears my vistory dance yesterday morning when she slept through the night without nappy or accident was premature.

BBaaaaBowwwwww.

(I have no handy hints today..... I need them myself!!)

Christmas!!! Have I mentioned it's the most wonderful time of the year???!!!! ;)

We have our Christmas tree.... and it looks fabulous, if I do say so myself (even if there does appear to be a slight lean......) The Christmas tree farm is no longer, so you may be relieved to know I didn't have to traipse around with an axe and fell my own tree. There was still adventure to be had in fitting the Christmas tree in my little hatchback and driving home with it sticking out the passenger window. Further adventure was had as I carried it out of the car and up the stairs of our unit and lifted it over a security gate thing (designed to stop Mr 2 falling down long flight of stairs). The kids were extremely excited by the tree and frolicked at my feet which was not such a helpful thing at the time......

Handy Hint Number 39: There is absolutely no point vacuuming your floor before carrying a real Christmas tree into your loungeroom. No point.

Anyway... it is in..... and decorated. There are three different sets of lights which is good because when you consider all the globes that are not working it adds up to the quantity of about one set of lights.

Handy Hint Number 40: It may well be wise to completely unwind the set of Christmas lights to check for broken globes before hanging them on the tree. It is not, however, wise to do this when you have young children.

May I just add that if I am ever rich I am going to have a Christmas light globe checker-er. Checking each globe to determine which one is broken would easily rank as one of the most tedious and annoying tasks in the world. For me it is up there with chopping up pumpkin as one of my pet-hates!!!

I have photographed the kids in their Santa suits and created the annual Christmas card. I went and got them printed and dropped into my dear zany crazy friend Ms E to get her opinion. Her comment: 'They're completely lame but cute'. Not perhaps the best feedback when you've stayed up to 3.30am to do it. (It wouldn't have taken so much time if I knew how to work Adobe Photoshop. A course in that is on my list of things to do.....)

Ms E redeemed herself by coming over to see the Christmas tree and cook me dinner. Yee haa! I was pretty happy! She laughed at me every time I caught a glimpse of the tree and exclaimed how beautiful it was. (By the way, don't houses look nice with all the fairy lights all over them. I wish you could have fairy lights all year round). Ms E was a little less than happy when I turned a Christmas CD on. It turns out she's not a fan of Christmas carols. She could not believe it when her new boyfriend came over and started playing the guitar to my Christmas CD and singing along. She commented that two people who she spends significant time with (me and her boyfriend) are both into Christmas carols, and it obviously proves God has a sense of humour!

OK, so my goals for the week:
Christmas tree Tick (although on a slight lean and many globes not working)
Christmas cards Tick (although apparently completely lame, and only a few have been written in so far...... and count yourself lucky if you made 'the cut' this year, due to financial constraints!!)
Christmas cakes Tick (well, they're started. The dried fruit is marinating in brandy.....)

Yes, it may be lame, but I love Christmas! (And there's nothing wrong with that!!)

Massage.......ahhhhhh............

Yesterday Miss 3 asked me to snuggle 'just for five mins' when I was trying to get her to sleep. I was actually really tired, so instead of saying no and using that time to dash around and do everything I can't do when the kids are awake, I lay down beside her for a snuggle. When she asked if she could rub cream into me, I again said 'yes' - hey, a massage is like my... kryptonite! I am powerless when a massage is suggested. Don't hate me!! She got up and got a towel for me to lie on, plus the cream, and we got ready for the massage. I ended up on my tummy with undies on, and Miss 3 rubbing cream into my back and legs, and writing letters on me.

Then I did a bad thing.

I fell asleep.

I woke up to find a little half-naked body next to me, completely covered in cream. The cream was in places several millimetres thick. She was like a little oil slick. It was almost a job for Greenpeace to de-grease her!!!!! She was a little sad because she had discovered it was hard to massage your own back. (Tell me about it!!!)

Handy Hint Number 38: According to my mother I made a fundamental mistake the first time Miss 3 massaged me by saying 'now it's your turn' after she had massaged me. Apparently mothers shouldn't let kids know it is their turn until they are at least in their teens (Mum actually said twenties, but I think that's pushing it!!)

By the way, a couple of nights ago Miss 3 looked at me and asked "Have you changed your nose?" What the..? Kids can be pretty funny.

It's the most wonderful time of the year..............

If you guys have ever head Amy Grant's Christmas album (which is on heavy rotation in my home, cause, hey.... Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year) you will be able to sing the title of this blog in your head! Since I last wrote we have started to Christmas-fy the unit. The balcony is wrapped in Christmas lights, there are a couple of light silhouette things in the front window, stockings are hanging. We do not have a Christmas tree yet though. A girlfriend from church and I are going to traipse into a forest and chop one down, and then squeeze it into my hatchback car (complete with two carseats containing two children in the back seat). It shall probably be a little squishy. (For those of you concerned about environmental type regulations, let me reassure that it is a Christmas tree farm we are going to - and hopefully they supply the axe.)

Every time Mr 2 hears a Christmas song, or sees a Christmas decoration or Christmas lights he exclaims: "Meemas". He even exclaimed it the other night when a police car went zooming past with its lights flashing.

Handy Hint Number 35: As a parent you are the one responsible for starting the majority of your children's Christmas traditions. Be careful what traditions you start!!!! You only have yourself to blame ten years down the track when you decide you want to do something a different way to have your children say 'but it's not tradition..........'

This week I have several Christmas goals to accomplish. I am chopping down a Christmas tree, I'm going to start soaking fruit in brandy for Christmas cakes, and it's time for the annual 'dress the kids in Santa suits, take 50 photos in the hope that one will work, and turn said photo into a Christmas card'. My kids are really going to hate me when they are teenagers!! (that's one tradition they will probably let me forget about!!!)

I sometimes feel like Miss 3 is already hitting her teenage years. She may be 3 going on 13! She was not happy with me the other day for some reason, possibly to do with my wanting her to wear sensible footwear, and her not! She stood hands on hips and said, quite forcefully: "I'm not happy. I'm very cross!'. Mr 2 looked a bit shocked and she straight away went to him, put her arm around him and said 'It's not you, little one, it's just my Mum.'

She is quite amazing with her little brother. They absolutely love each other. They play well together, they share beautifully; she is protective of him, he is protective of her (I am sometimes cast as the evil enemy!!!) If she is upset Mr 2 goes up to her and pats her and says 'You OK? You OK?' After her day at preschool they fly into each other's arms and hug as though it has been years. The other day at swimming lessons Miss 3 was in the water about to start swimming and she suddenly got out of the water and ran towards Mr 2 and I. The teacher told me 'She said she forgot to kiss her little brother goodbye.'

One night several months ago Miss 3 was in my bed, and Mr 2 was crying in his cot and Miss 3 called for me. When I got to the door she said "I think [Mr 2] needs me. Can I have him in here with me?" I thought to myself, why not!? I put Mr 2 in bed with Miss 3 and (after a fair amount of frivolity) they fell asleep in each other's arms. All through winter I just put them straight into bed together and they would laugh and chat, and Miss 3 would sing lullabies to Mr 2, and pray with him. To say I feel blessed in my kids would be an understatement!!! I have alot of photos of them curled in each other's arms asleep!

Handy Hint Number 36: When pregnant with your second (or 3rd or 4th etc) child, prepare your first child for the birth of the baby by telling them how lucky they are, reinforce what a wonderful thing it is for them to have a brother or sister. Only tell them good stuff. Don't tell them stuff like 'don't feel like mummy doesn't love you, cause I always will' or stuff like that, cause it sounds like you are saying the right thing, but you're actually setting your child up to feel like there is a reason for them to feel unloved or lacking in attention or jealous of a sibling.

I hope that makes sense, cause it's a bit hard to explain. As an example, I got 'The Lion King' for the kids, and sat down to watch it with them for the first time, and suddenly realised that it is all about the Lion King's brother being jealous and hating his brother and plotting to kill him. So I turned it off, and will introduce ideas like that to the kids when they are a bit older. They at this stage don't have any idea about being jealous of each other and if they occasionally battle for a toy, they always kiss and say sorry (generally without prompting from me). It doesn't make any sense for me to show them a movie like that.

Handy Hint Number 37: The first time you show your kids a DVD, make sure you sit down and watch it with them. Even G rated films often have bits that can be hard for litle kids to understand. You can explain bits they don't understand and simplify parts that could be scary or sad. If a part comes up in the movie that is too scary just skip that scene and explain it's not suitable for them. Kids are so cluey. (My kids now say "Quick Mum, it's not soo-ble")

You may be worried that my kids are watching terrible movies. They aren't. Here's what they are allowed to watch:

Hi-5 - they are awesome. Both kids get up and dance and sing along.
The Wiggles - I'm not too rapt in them but Mr 2 likes them. (I'm a Hi-5 girl!)
Playschool
Finding Nemo - the shark and swordfish scenes can be scary for littlies.
Babe - very cute
Singing in the Rain - hey the kids like the dancing
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron - this is an absolutely gorgeous movie (known as 'the horsie movie' in our home)
Racing Stripes
Cars - fantastic and adults should love it too...
Shrek 1 and 2 - both have some scary bits to explain, but still fun.
The Man From Snowy River - what can I say? The kids like horsie movies. Mr2 is scared at the beginning when they are chopping tree down with axe and then it falls (I guess I better remember that when Christmas tree chopping!!) and I skip a couple of chapters where there is yelling and fighting.
Black Beauty - new version. We watch the first half and then I turn it off. The second half is very sad, lots of cruelty. Even I felt upset at some of it :(

We have rented some other movies.
Beauty and the Beast is the favourite.
Sleeping Beauty - there is a lot fundamentally wrong with this movie (like a girl being married off on her 16th birthday by her father who wants grandkids straight away!). I skipped about seven chapters in a row (cause Maleficicent the evil fairy is frankly too scary for a 2 year old!), and I am not all together thrilled at encouraging Miss 3 to wait for the classic 'knight in shining armour' thing, so tend to steer her away from all the 'Barbie' movies. She will have enough 'does he like me? Why doesn't he like me?' when she gets to high school. Hey, I still have it!!!! ;)
Robots - fun but scary in parts
Madagascar - didn't grab kids or me at all.

And now for some adult movies. That's movies for adults, not well ... you know...."Adult movies".
You Me and Dupree - I kind of liked it. I'm not really sure though. Kate Hudson looks good.
The Lake House - I expected this to be lame and I really loved it. Really really loved it. It's a new release with Keanu and Sandra and no speed! Very thought provoking and quite emotionally involving (I cried...)
Garden State - a really interesting and quite funny movie written, directed and starring Zach Braff (from Scrubs). It's quirky, but has excessive and unnecessary swearing. So much swearing it's almost painful actually!

Well I was going to add a couple of photos, but have spent way too much time doing this and have to go to bed!! Sleep well......

Scriptwriting, Stardom, and Matthew McConaughey.......

Now that I have finished university for the year, I am spending some time writing a movie. I have several 'on the go' at the moment, and when I say 'on the go' I mean that I have written the synopsis and listed what happens in scenes for each of them, but have not yet started dialogue-ing, apart from jotting inspired gems of dialogue down.

A lot of my inspired dialogue comes straight out of the mouths of the kids! They can be so funny. The other day when it was 38 degrees Miss 3 looked at me, hands on hips, and very disgruntled and said 'why did God have to make it so hot?' Another day, she appeared very tired in the morning and when asked if she was still tired she replied 'the morning came too quickly.'

Handy Hint Number 34: When writing a movie script that has children in it, jot down funny things they say straight away, because if you don't you will forget. I have forgotten heaps of things already that I thought were perfect for my film!!

Surprisingly one character will be a girl aged three and one will be a boy aged two. Mr 2 has a little horse figurine which Miss 3 has named 'Gallop' and he stomps it around the house saying 'Deigh, Deigh, Deigh', which I think will make it to the script. (Hey, all these little things flesh out characters and make them three-dimensional.)

BTW, here's some quick feedback on another couple of movies:
American Dreamz - A very cool film, which makes fun of George Bush, American Idol and the war in Iraq. Stars Hugh Grant, Mandy Moore and Dennis Quaid. It's a new release and I really enjoyed it.
The Perfect Man - This is a horrifically bad movie starring Hilary Duff, and after seeing a few movies starring her in the last couple of months I would recommend all of you steer clear of watching anything that 'stars' her. She has the charisma of a flannel.

My movie of course will star someone full of charisma (me!!! hee hee!) and I'll make sure there are roles for all my friends who aspire to stardom! Call me if you want to be a star!! If anybody has some scriptwriting software, please let me know.

If you can't get hold of me, I may be in Cairns trying to throw myself subtley into Matthew McConaughey's path.......

I'm just kidding about going to Cairns................ I think.

(And Mum, it's his mind I'm attracted to........)

Killing Two Birds With One Stone...........and the Joy of Tim Tams

Hi! I'm back for those of you who were wondering where I have been.

On Monday I had to drive to Sydney to pick up the kids' Dad, Mr D, after an operation. In a classic Em-killing-two-birds-with-one-stone-yet-biting-off-more-than-I-can-chew moment, it was decided I would drive to Sydney on Monday afternoon, (leaving the kids in the capable, yet slightly zany, hands of my friend Miss E), pick up Mr D from his operation, and drive straight back to our home two and a half hours away. There he could recuperate (number one bird) while seeing the kids, and experiencing their little weekly routine (number two bird - in this analogy, I guess the stone is me). Now I'm sure some of the more forward-thinking of you wonderful readers will be wondering at the logic of picking up someone who is IN PAIN (he had his wisdom teeth out) and driving them in a not-at-all-state-of-the-art car for two and a half hours of bumps and distinct lack of comfort.

Handy Hint Number 32: When driving somebody who has just had a wisdom teeth operation for two and a half hours, it would be best for your peace of mind to carry a syringe full of sedative so you can stop the never-ending (yet understandable) groaning and moaning. (And I mean for you to jab the passenger, not yourself!!!)

It was a lot of driving for poor little old me. Especially when I had got sucked into channel-flipping between the late night movies 'Billy Elliot' and 'Phone Booth' the night before, and so had only got about five hours sleep. Incidentally, it is amazing how much you can get from watching two movies at the one time, or perhaps I am just extremely skilled at it! (Hey!!!..... another skill to add to my business cards that one day I will get printed!!!!)

For the trip I had tossed up between taking an apple to snack on or Tim Tams. Because I am so good ;) I decided to take the apple, and I was tres annoyed to bite into my apple and find it revoltingly doughy and tasteless.

Handy Hint Number 33: When tossing up between taking a piece of fruit or a Tim Tam, choose the Tim Tam becasue they always taste good.

Anyway, it has been good for the kids to see Mr D, and good for him to see them in their day-to -day routine, even if he has been dosed up on Panadeine Forte.

Just realised the time and I have to fly. It is Miss 3's first disco tonight (For the love!!!!........) and I have to get her ready. She is extremely excited, and has been demonstrating all manner of dance steps for me all week. My favourite is the foot tap, with occasional hip wiggle. I guess you have to see it to understand the cuteness of it!

Pelicans Abound and D-grade Schlock Rules

We had a beach adventure yesterday morning. Various sizes of sandcastle were created...... and squashed...... moats were dug ........ and disintegrated. Fun was had by all - excluding the couple of times Mr 2 faceplanted, and ended up with a mouthful of sand.

Handy Hint Number 31: Always have drinking water with you to wash out little kids' mouths when they are full of sand!!

By far the most fun though, was due to the pelicans who got very up close and personal with us. I had taken the dead bread outside to feed any ducks or birds, but when the pelicans came close we threw some to them. I was having a slight moral dilemma over whether it was detrimental to pelicans to have bread, but they seemed to like it! Don't tell any animal welfare people!!! We ended up with 4 pelicans only 1 to 1.5 metres away from Miss 3, Mr 2 and myself. All three of us were throwing bread to keep up with the demand (seagulls joined in, of course!). I think the reason the pelicans were so close was Mr 2's little throws had the bread falling pretty much at his feet! I kept the kids close cause I didn't know if pelicans could get vicious with their beaks. I also had a moment of concern that they may snaffle Mr 2 as a tasty little morsel and fly away with him, but at 13 to 14 kgs I doubt they could carry him far!!! :)

Well, my DVD viewing has disintegrated into C-grade, maybe even D-grade schlock. One demented day, I purchased for $8.99 (from Aldi of course) a DVD entitles 'Movies for Mother: Romantic Comedy'. It's a ten DVD movie pack, and it is peopled with complete unknowns. The actors (if that is not too complementary a term) are so unknown, perhaps not even their mother knows them!! Think really-bad midday movies and then lower the bar a bit more, and you have a fair idea of the quality of the films. I have watched three so far, though....... I am such a loser, even the lamest movie can suck me in.

By the way, I think the hardest heart would have softened as they watched footage of Rove McManus carrying Belinda Emmett's coffin from the church. His grief was evident in a face that was carved in stone. It's weird cause people are full of sorrow for them, but also most of us wish we could experience a love like they shared.

Honesty and Farewell to Belinda Emmett

I love the honesty of little children.

Miss 3 came up to me yesterday and told me the rice snacks had fallen on the floor and said: 'I did it purposely'. It did take a few moments to work out what the word was, to be honest, but I figured it out and said 'so it wasn't an accident?', to which she answered 'No, I did it on purpose. Sorry, Mummy'. Well, what do you say to that? I asked her why she had done it, and apparently they had been in the way. She was of course reprimanded, and had to clean up the mess, but I thanked her for telling me the truth.

It reminded me of the time earlier this year, (about March) when she pointed to some toys on the ground outside, thrown off the first floor balcony. I asked 'who did that?' and she replied 'I think ..............[long pause] ........... me. It was very naughty and very silly.' It's quite hard to discipline her when she's so cute, but I have to remind myself that she won't be cute if she becomes a brat!

Handy Hint Number 29: Don't underestimate the usefulness of pretending you didn't see bad behaviour! It is a valid parenting technique if not used too often (and never use it for anything really bad). Sometimes the kids will do something that is slightly wrong, technically, but they've done it in a cute way, and so by pretending I didn't see it, I don't have to reprimand them when my heart isn't in the reprimand.

I am so sad today for Rove and Belinda Emmett's family. She was so young, and they were so in love. It's so hard to understand why some people are healed and others aren't. I was listening to Belinda's song 'Less Than Perfect' which Rove released today on www.rovelive.com for free download. It is quite moving. She was such an incredible example of positivity, and their love was something to aspire to. I will be praying for her family today as they lay her to rest.

Handy Hint Number 30: Hold your loved ones tight and tell them you love them, as I'm sure Rove would love to be doing with Belinda.

Bed Time, The 80's, and other stuff.....

I love my mornings, even though they commence earlier than I would actually choose. Most mornings I end up with Mr 2 and Miss 3 curled up in bed with me. The combination of how they get there changes every night; some nights Mr 2 wakes at about midnight or 2am and calls out 'Mummy' and I go to him in his cot and he says 'bed' as he points to my room and I take him in and snuggle him, and Miss 3 climbs in on the other side of me at anytime from about 4am to 6am. Other nights Miss 3 will creep in at 2am and Mr 2 will call out about 5.30am/6am and I will get him and we will all snuggle together.

I never know what time they will get into bed with me, I just know that they will!!

Handy Hint Number 28: Make sure your kids know that being in mummy and/or daddy's bed is a treat, otherwise you will never get your bed to yourself!!!! (And that could be very bad!)

Previous to winter I would have said 'make sure your kids always go to sleep in their own bed', but I stuffed that up completely in winter. It was too cold; it meant I only had to have a heater on in one room, and they made such cute little hot water bottles!! I am now back in the swing of putting them to sleep in their room, and letting them come in during the night. To be honest, I would probably leave them in their own rooms and let them make a bit of noise, and hope they fall asleep again, but as Miss 3 and Mr 2 share a room, if one makes a lot of noise, the other wakes up and then I've got two awake kids on my hands.

The other morning while we got Miss 3 ready for preschool we had the music on, and we danced around crazily; the kids having turns being twirled in my arms. I wondered to myself: Am I a cruel mother for indoctrinating my kids into 80's music, especially Amy Grant? I am sure one day in the future my kids will wonder how it is that they know all the words to the songs on the 'Footloose' soundtrack.................

Short-takes: Miss 3 really wants to do 'balley' (ballet). A close friend has told me to be prepared for hours of sewing on sequins in order to perform for five minutes. If she still wants to do it at the start of next year, I will probably do it, though.....

I've seen a few movies lately (on DVD of course). 'Derailed' is a painful movie, the ending redeems itself slightly, but morally all wrong and makes you yell at the TV.
Mission Impossible 3 - while Tom doesn't have me at hello anymore, he does a very good job in MI3, although I think it's due more to JJ Adams (director) than Tom.
'Cars' - a fantastic movie that isn't just for kids!!
'Red Eye' - quite a thrilling and scary movie.....
'JuneBug' - interesting, weird, not a satisfying ending.

And now for an update on my lamp............. The company emailed me to say it was broken an dthey didn't have any more like that..... sob......... For the love!!! I work up the courage to make a big purchase, and then it all ends in tears. For those of you who were interested the lamp was costing me $149, which would have been a bargain, if I had got it and it wasn't broken.......

Hey big spender........

Last night was quite a costly night for me. I did some shopping on ebay (and thanks Mrs A for introducing me to the joy and wonder that is ebay!!) The stunning Tiffany Lamp on the right is what I purchased. Isn't it gorgeous??!!! I saw it and loved it and then tried to justify spending money on it.

Handy Hint Number 25: A really good way to justify spending money on luxury items is if you have been given money for a birthday. Even if you have already spent the money on boring things, you can happily and with a clear conscience buy a luxury item when you can pronounce it your birthday present from so-and-so. It also makes it more special.

Thanks Mum and Dad for my stunning Tiffany Lamp. I have always wanted one, and I adore the colours.

It was almost a more expensive night though. I saw the lamp and put in my maximum bid, and then alas, it popped up that I had been outbid, and I just got caught up in the frenzy of the moment and upped my bid!! For the love!!!!!!! I MUST NEVER go to a house auction, because I fear what might happen in the excitement of the moment! It was only after I became the highest bidder that I went to the seller's ebay store, and discovered I could buy the same lamp as a 'Buy It Now' item for $30 less than what I had just bid. AAaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I then prayed that some other idiot would make the same mistake as me, and outbid me. And hooray!!! Someone did!! Thanks God.

Handy Hint Number 26: Always check out the seller's ebay store before bidding! This will save you from feeling psychological grief at your idiocy of spending more money than necessary every time you look at your purchase!!!

Not content with my ebay purchase, I then did something ridiculously stupid. I am almost too embarrassed to write it, but my stupidity will hopefully be a cautionary tale for those who are reading this. I hopped into bed and turned on the TV, (which I usually don't do, cause I'm normally so happy to be in bed and about to go to sleep), and got hooked into one of those silly quiz shows. Channel 7, 9 and 10 hit on this great money-making venture which satisfies some requirements for Australian content, and is incredibly cheap for them to produce. Frankly, I could do a better job of producing them if I did it in my loungeroom. They are quiz shows hosted by loser wannabes, where people ring in and solve the quiz and win money.

Last night I probably spent close to $10 on phone calls to this stupid quiz. I am so ashamed. It is a rude ruse as well. You ring in and it answers straight away (and there goes your 55 cents) with a recorded message saying there are two stages to getting through to the studio, giving a drum role and then a ba-boom beep and 'sorry you weren't successful in getting through, call back to try again'. A couple of times I did get through to the 'studio' where I was placed in a line, and then after hanging on (all excited) for a couple of minutes the recorded message does the ba-boom beep and tells you you didn't make it through.

Handy Hint Number 27: Don't ever waste your money on calling into those studio quiz things. They are a joke and a scam of annoyingly magnificent proportions and you will kick yourself all night and into the next day! Owww! (Just kicked myself again!)

Mr 2 is sitting in his booster seat next to me as I type and he has just completely distracted me by asking for a kiss. It is his latest thing! He says 'kiss' and I lean to him and he clasps my face in his two hands........ awwww...........and kisses me on the mouth. Then he says 'again' and we do it again, and again, and again. He is so adorable and beautiful. I am however trying to teach him to kiss with his mouth closed cause his teeth are bashing my mouth at the moment, and it's a bit slobbery!!!!

Anyway, I'm off to join the day........ hope you all have a great one. Feel free to leave comments. You don't need to register or anything, just click on anonymous, and you can leave one really easily.

Suffer the little children........

Well, I am officially an idiot. I just watched a movie called ‘A Time for Dancing’ which was quite a cool dance movie in a completely B-grade, actually probably C-grade, fashion, except that the lead girl dies of cancer. I, of course, couldn’t help but put myself in the girl’s mother’s shoes, and so I am mopping up the tears. I always used to ‘feel’ things but since becoming a mother, I have moved into a completely intense realm of feeling….. I am not capable of watching certain things on television anymore; anything with children dying, or any sexual abuse is just too painful to watch, which rules out documentaries on the Sudan, and any Law & Order or CSI programs. Reading the paper or watching the news is just awful these days.

It’s so hard to even think about what some little children have to go through; be it abuse or neglect or ill-health. I wish I could just gather them all into my arms and protect them. I obviously can’t protect them all, but I have been praying for angels to surround little children in need, and that good caring people would be raised up around them to protect them. I am also praying for transformation in DOCS; for wise leadership and changes to practices that see children slip through the cracks. I would like to encourage everyone who reads this blog to pray for the same thing. We have to protect the little children and become more community-minded.

Handy Hint Number 23: Telling your kids ‘don’t talk to strangers’ is a misleading and confusing rule for them to understand, because they see us talking to strangers all the time. Tell your child there are some bad people in the world and teach them methods for dealing with potential danger. At your local shopping centre point out the female shop assistants and teach your child if they get lost to go straight to the lady shop assistant and tell her that they are lost and then wait with her. Tell them that you, as the parent, will always come looking for them, so they don’t need to go looking for you. They could also be taught to go up to a mother with children and wait with her, if you wanted, although I haven't done that yet with Miss 3. Teach your child to say ‘I just have to check with my mummy’ (or Daddy) if anyone (even the next-door neighbour) offers them lollies or food. Keep reinforcing them saying ‘I just have to check with my mummy’ and get them used to saying it. They should also say that if anyone asks them to come with them somewhere. Teach them that if they feel scared by anything or are grabbed by anyone just yell out 'HELP' loudly.

OK, I’m sorry this blog got so yucky. Trust me, they are not things I like thinking about either, but it is a good thing to have your kids prepared (and I am talking about little kids under 4. Once your kids get older, roleplaying would be a good method of teaching them to avoid dangers)

By the way, all the controversy over Madonna adopting the little boy from Malawi was so ridiculous. She said she defied anyone to go into one of those orphanages and not want to adopt a child to give it a better life. Far out, if I had gone I probably would have adopted 20 children!

Anyway, the tone of this blog just goes to show that I should stick to my normal TV viewing which is mainly kids’ DVDs and ABC Kids’ programmes. I also hereby admit to being an Australian Idol fan (I am going for Damien and Dean), a Grey’s Anatomy fan (except it’s stopped for the year and I am so over Meredith and the whole McDreamy saga), and I quite like How I Met Your Mother and My Name is Earl, plus ER is always pretty good.

Handy Hint Number 24: Buy ‘Arrested Development’ TV series on DVD. It is so funny, clever, and easily the best comedy that’s been around in years! This is a hint not related to kids by the way! As Miss 3 would say: ‘It’s not soo-ble’ (suitable).

My Mum still laughs about what happened when she was minding Miss 3 one afternoon and letting her watch the ABC Kids’ programmes. From 3pm till about 4.05pm the programmes are suited to little kids, but after that they get more suitable for older kids (although still technically kids’ programmes). Miss 4 started calling out ‘It’s not soo-ble, It’s not soo-ble’ as she covered her eyes. I think my Mum felt bad that her 3 year old grand daughter was self-censoring!!!

Food, food glorious food........ oh.... and mothering stuff.....

Tonight I made delicious and tasty rissoles for the kids. Miss 3 ate all of hers, although it does take some time for her to eat!! When she grows up and asks me what annoying habits she had when she was young, I will tell her that taking what feels like a million hours to eat any meal was tedious, and the closest thing to annoying that she ever did. It is seriously the only time I have lost patience with her. It is nothing for her to take an hour and a half to eat dinner. At least she eats what I cook for her, though!

Mr 2 eats quickly, but will only eat from a couple of options. I try him on new and exciting foods, and he turns up his nose. Hey, he not only turns up his nose, but every part of his body refuses the food. He basically has pureed meat and vegies every night....... still! It's all homemade and healthy and is actually quite yummy, but so are rissoles, so are roast dinners, so is pasta, etc, but he will not eat them. I am open to any hints. I have made dinners which he will not eat to the point of almost spewing as I pry his mouth open to get him to taste the food. I have let him sit for over an hour with food in front of him which he doesn't eat. I have arranged food into funny shapes, I have tried mashing foods but if it's not the vegies and meat then it's no go! Miss 3 and I will come and eat it in front of him and make oohing and aahing sounds of pleasure, but he is wise to our feminine wiles already, and remains firm in his refusal to open his mouth. Miss 3 had limited success feeding him herself (hey, I told you she was handy), but once he realised it wasn't his regular food, it was spat out and no go! The weird thing is that he will eat cake and chips and chocolate without any qualms or apparent hesitation. Even when his cake is quite a virulent blue or green. (Exhibit A: Mr 2's 2nd birthday cake - name changed to preserve his anonymity!!)

Regardless of his apparent love of unhealthy food, he hardly ever gets those things. I am quite obsessive about feeding the kids healthily. They have never tasted soft drink or cordial (other than Ribena!) They aren't allowed to eat flavoured chips, biscuits etc, or any lollies. In fact, I recommend mothers stay away from processed foods as much as possible.

Handy Hint Number 20: Check food labels for flavour enhancer 621 (MSG) and 635. They are dodgey for kids (and I think they're a reason for a lot of the Attention Deficit Disorders and learning difficulties in kids today). Also steer clear of red lollies, cordial, and anything with red food colouring.

I can't believe that foods advertised as being 'healthy options' often have those flavour enhancers in them. 621 and 635 are in pretty much every variety of chips, other than plain potato chips or plain original corn chips. They're also in all those little snack biscuits that have sprinkled 'flavour' you can see on it. Flavour enhancers can also be in sausages, and meats, and sliced ham etc from deli section of a supermarket. They're in some varieties of tinned tuna, they are in pretty much any flavour sachet for any type of quick preparation meal, and definitely in 2 minute noodles and stuff like that (Oh, how I miss my 2 Minute Noodles....) I wouldn't eat anything with flavour enhancers while I was preggos either. OK, I'll get off my anti-flavour enhancer band wagon now......

I just had to reprimand Mr 2 for being too rough with one of his toys, and he flew, crying his little heart out, into Miss 3's arms. She cradled him to her and reprimanded me for being mean to Mr 2, while comforting him and saying 'I've got you little darling. It's ok. I've got you.' She is quite simply adorable, and I am so proud of her being so protective of her brother, and yet I now should reprimand her for being cheeky to me. Ah.... for the love.....!! Sometimes being a mother is like a minefield!

Handy Hint Number 21: When you are reprimanding your children, make sure your threats of punishment are logical and enforceable. For example saying "If you don't stop doing that nothing good is ever going to happen to you, ever!' is not the best example of mothering (a lapse my sister Mrs A will never let me live down!!)

Another problem reprimanding children is when they call your bluff. One night when Miss 3 kept getting out of her cosy warm bed (which I, by the way, would happily have fallen asleep in!!) I said that if she didn't stay in her bed I would put her outside in the car in the cold and she could sleep there (something I would obviously not do, so don't call DOCS!!) and she starts crying and begging, (yes, begging!) for me to put her in the car in the cold so she can sleep there. Aaaaaagghhhhhhh!

Handy Hint Number 22: Some days your kids will make you feel like you are a bad mother. That's the day you are convinced that everything you are doing is wrong and it's the day that you worry about how you will be able to afford the therapy you think your child is going to need to get over your mothering mistakes!!!! Remember that day will end ...... and chocolate is a valid sustaining option until the new day begins.

Cup Day!!

Today was Melbourne Cup Day. Now I am not a gambler, (phhheewwwww.... I hear you say...), and so for me, Melbourne Cup Day is it. My one day of the year when I will go to a TAB and put on a bet! My sister Miss S and my Uncle A came to visit today and I confess to being a bad influence on my sister. Miss S (who has never bet in her life!!!) and I pored over the racing bit of the paper to choose which horse to put money on.

Every year for at least the last five years I choose my horses according to some very scientific factors, and bet as follows: $1 each way on the best jockey outfit, $1 each way on the horse with the best odds (as in 165 to 1 - hey, you never know, it may be their day!!!) and a box trifecta with no favourites in it. I am yet to win anything other than about $6, but it's fun to have something to cheer on (and my total spending is under $20, so I'm not going crazy!)

My sister was perhaps taking things a bit too seriously when she said 'we should have been studying this earlier' while she tried to understand the ins and outs of form guides. We ended up crying with laughter as she said : 'You know we don't have to just stick to today. There's other days we can gamble.' I fear my uncle was shocked and worried as we left him with Mr 2 (Miss 3 was at preschool) and walked down the road to place our bets. Especially when we said we'd be back in a few hours (we were only 15 mins there and back!!) I am aware my poor mother will be shocked and worried as she reads this!!!! Don't worry, Mum, Miss S bet $4, and I bet $17 - and Miss S hardly put anything through the pokies...... Just kidding. We did not touch the pokies!!!

I, of course, won nothing. Miss S, who I think was considering gambling as a valid money-making enterprise, was disgusted at losing her $4 and has already lost the gambling bug!! So, I guess all's well that ends well, (and Mum can breathe a massive sigh of relief!)

I am aware that I have no valid handy hint that is in any way related to mothering and the Melbourne Cup..... oh, actually, hang on.....

Handy Hint Number 19 : I recommend the movie 'Racing Stripes' for kids. It's really cute and sweet - about a zebra who goes in a horse race. (Ok...... it's a very tenuous link to the Melbourne Cup, but the only other hints I could think of were don't leave kids in the car when you go gambling - which I hope just goes without saying, and surely none of you would ever do that anyway!!!)

Crafty Business and Word Games

Saturday dawned rainy and cold and it seemed a good time to get crafty! As you may (or may not!!) be able to see from the picture, we were creating 'sea creatures'. And yes, I, too, have never seen a red, orange and yellow dolphin, however as Miss 3 says it is 'pretty'.

Handy Hint Number 17: Put aside any ideas that craft with young children will be neat, easy, and that the end result will look anything like it does 'on the box', (and don't be surprised if you gain new respect for pre-school teachers!!)

To all you inventors out there: could someone please invent a tube of glue that is easy to use. Surely there has to be a better way than having a squeezy tube with a little tiny plug in the top that you have to pry out, because the pressure involved in prying the plug out, also means that once you get the plug out, glue gushes out all over the tube and your fingers!

Today I am experiencing a 'battle of wills' with Miss 3. From quite a young age she has had her own established little fashion sense. There has been many a morning when she has been terribly upset over the outfit I have chosen for her (and it's not as though I have dodgey fashion sense - I think my fashion sense is quite groovy, actually!). She would say 'It doesn't match' or 'it doesn't look good' - sometimes it feels like she is 3 going on 13! She is often dressed first thing in the morning now, which is possibly a way of avoiding my input! The problem often is that Miss 3 has the idea in her head of what she wants to wear and doesn't take into consideration the temperature outside! Her latest fashion look is wearing her jeans/shorts with a skirt being worn as a top. She puts the skirt over her head, around her neck, and pulls one arm out, so the skirt is slung diagonally across her body. It actually looks really cool. In fact, I'm close to going out in public wearing one!! It's fine for a hot day, but not when it is cold!! (I have suggested a top underneath, with the skirt over the top, but it just is not 'pretty, Mummy'). I have to say her fashion sense has its good points: It's pretty nice having a little person come into your room and say 'Oh Mummy, that looks bewfial'.

Miss 3 just came up to me and said 'sorry'. Mr 2 said 'sorry' as well - it is his latest word!!! Oh, they are so adorable! Miss 3 has quite an established vocabulary, and Mr 2 is definitely working on his. I feel like such a bad mother when I don't correct Miss 3's mispronunciations, but they are just too cute. Finished is 'fishinned', beautiful is 'bewfial', cockroach is 'cock - ar - hoach', pelican is 'peckilan'. I also loves that she calls toilet paper 'paper towel', and that she calls the high chair the 'up chair'.

I was thinking yesterday, that one day she will say the right pronunciation of the word. Just one day, she will stop saying things the wrong way and say it the right way, and I will miss those little mispronunciations. (I already miss some!). It hit me that you never know when it will be last day that Miss 3 wants me to snuggle in bed with her and I say 'OK, ten minutes' and she says 'No, five minutes' thinking that's more! Mr 2 used to love showers. The second he heard water running, he would crawl, at fast speed, slide open the sliding door, and clamber into the shower fully clothed. And one day, he just stopped..... Every time I sit on the couch or in the arm chair both kids climb on top of me and we snuggle together, and one day they probably won't want to do that, and I will miss it, and I won't have realised that the day before when we were snuggling was the last day we would be snuggling like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never know when they are going to take another tiny step (or big step) in their growing up, and in doing so, leave some of their little gorgeous baby traits behind, forever...... SOB.............

Handy Hint Number 18: Cherish every moment with your kids.

Hooray!!!!!

Celebrate good times, come on!!!!!!! (This line works better if you are channelling a Minogue as you say it!!)

I have finished my assignment completely and absolutely and I feel good!!!! That is it for the year!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! I also received the marks back on another assignment yesterday and I received a Distinction, which is pretty good. I guess the all nighter of a week and a half ago was worth it! (They marked it very quickly, tres efficient)

The kids were so great yesterday while I focused on my last assignment. I actually grabbed a new toy I'd hidden away for Christmas and gave it to them. It is a little mechanics set with a drill that works, and a motorcycle, aeroplane, and racing car which you can completely take apart and put back together (plus millions of screws). If I had been thinking clearlyI would have realised it was a toy that required Mummy's assistance. Miss 3 was actually really good with the drill - the hard part was figuring out how all the little odd bits of plastic go together. This was made harder by the fact that there were no instructions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was like a jigsaw without the picture to work from! As I type Miss 3 is busily unscrewing every screw in all three machines, and I fear my skills will be tested as I help put the toys back together.

Handy Hint Number 14: If you have a toy that can be pulled apart, it's helpful for your sanity if you see what the toy is like before it is pulled apart because that way you may just possibly have a chance at putting it back together the right way. It is quite hard to do when you don't even know what it looked like to start with.


Well it took a while but they are all back together. As you can maybe see from the photo, (which will be helpful for me for future reference) there are a lot of bits of plastic. Every single coloured bit comes apart! (It's a really good toy though - I bought it from Aldi for $19.99. I love the fact that they even supplied you with the batteries to put in the drill. Now that is what I call being kind to parents. I love Aldi!)

Handy Hint Number 15: ALDI nappies are fantastic. Cheaper and better quality than Huggies. Aldi is also great for stuff like tissues, toilet paper, toothpaste, pasta, and the mince is really good quality (better than supermarkets). Sign up for the weekly specials newsletter to be emailed to you and you can get some amazing bargains.

I think all the practise with the screwdriver and drill came in handy when I had to completely pull apart the door handle on the bathroom and put it back together, cause it was half falling off. I am such a handy woman these days! I'm almost ready to buy one of those toolbelt things......... ;)

The kids and I went outside for a run around in the sun to burn off some of their energy so they would sleep in the afternoon. Mr 2 is excited about everything he sees. He exclaims 'It's a boat', 'it's a bird', 'it's a duck' etc, however his 'it's a' sounds a bit like 'c'est'. He's like a little French boy, very cute. Mr 2 and I did a lot of running into each other's arms, while Miss 3 had a swing.

Handy Hint Number 16: Make a game of having your child run into your arms for a twirl around. Not only does it tire them out, but it's also completely gorgeous and heartwarming having a child run towards you with a beaming smile and their arms outstretched. AWwwww....shucks.......

Anyway, I must log off the computer. My weather forcaster, Miss 3, woke me this morning, fully dressed, saying 'Mummy, wake up. I've already checked the weather and it's going to be a cold and rainy day today' and it has indeed got very dark outside. In fact, the thunder is starting and Miss 3 has just told me God is having a party and going ho, ho, ho. I can thank my brother, Mr M, for that scientific explanation!! :)

A Day In The Life

Well, today started out very early for us. Mr 2 woke from his sleep screaming, and would not stop! It was actually quite scary becasue I didn't know what to do. He's such a happy joyful baby most of the time that I am almost taken aback when he's not!! After intensive screaming for almost an hour, (how Miss 3 slept through, I do not know!) I tried my mum on her mobile overseas, but she was out of range. I then called my dear sister, Ms S, and I hereby officially thank her for answering the phone at 6.20am and not yelling at me for calling so early! I also have to thank my dearest friend Aunty R (not my real aunty, but I've called her that my whole life) for arriving at my house within 10 minutes of me calling her at 6.25am. How blessed am I to have such wonderful people in my life?!

Aunty R calmed Mr 2 (and, it must be admitted, me) down within a quarter of an hour of her arrival. He most likely had suffered a night terror, and did not know how to handle the feelings, poor little thing, and just worked himself up into a state.

Handy Hint Number 11: As a mother you can tend to leap to 'worst case scenario' situations when something is wrong with your kids. This is not particularly helpful. Try and keep calm. (And if all else fails, call for reinforcements....)

Wednesday is swimming day and today was a million times more successful than last week. Well, there was no vomit or diarrohea (from the kids, that is..... BbaaBowww). Miss 3 was a legend, even swimming freestyle (she learnt her arm actions during the week by being a growly lion) and Mr 2 was clamouring to get in the water himself. Sadly I was completely unprepared for him to go in, although his plaintive cries of 'Wa', 'Wa' (water) pierced my hard heart, and I stripped him off and put him in where he and Miss 3 frolicked happily.

Handy Hint Number 12: When going to a swimming pool, always take a swimming nappy just in case. Normal nappies are designed to absorb fluid, (something I should have remembered when putting Mr 2 in the pool of WATER), and will bulk up to astronomical size and weight in a swimming pool.

Tonight Miss 3 and I snuggled in her bed together. Due to my feeling unwell, she was putting me to sleep by clasping my face in her hands and saying 'Close your eyes, little darling, and dream of stars, and dream of swimming in your swimming costume, and dream of Jesus, and dream of trees and flowers'. This beautiful moment was somewhat interrupted as she prises one of my eyes open and asks if I'm asleep yet.......

Well, at least she didn't pash me. Yesterday, she told me she wanted to marry me 'so we can kiss like this' and clasped my face, pressed her lips to mine and started wriggling her mouth around!!!

Handy Hint Number 13: Kids are like sponges. They soak up everything. Be careful what you expose them to.